Hey Tik,
We need to talk. Again.
Gone. Not gone. Which is it?
It’s been a wild ride, and while I appreciate all the memes, the dancing, the videos, and the hourly adrenalin rushes, I need some space.
It’s not you; well, actually, it is you. Call it what you want — a pause, a hiatus, a break to get my head straight — but if I’m being honest, we’re done.
And here’s why:
I Need Some Elbow Room
We’ve been spending way too much time together. I need some air. It’s like I’m suffocating in your endless scroll. Our relationship is quickly becoming all-consuming. I’m itching to see what else is out there.
I Know You’re Spying on Me
Dare I say stalking? To tell you the truth, your data-collection habits are pretty sketchy. It’s like you’re tracking my every move. I need to be with someone who respects my privacy, not one who’s acting like an overbearing ex.
You’re Bad for My Mental Health
Our relationship is taking a toll. The constant comparisons, the FOMO, the dopamine hits. It’s just not healthy. I need a break from your constant feedback loop. It’s making me seriously question my own sanity.
You’re a Bully
You‘re a behemoth, throwing your weight around like the big bad brute on the block. Two years ago, you overtook Google as the year’s #1 website. You overtook Google! A fact like that is hard to wrap my head around. You boast about having over 1 billion active monthly users, which is about 13% of the entire world.
You’re Creepy
Things are getting a bit weird. Your primary audience is GenZ girls, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m a dues-paying member of a club I don’t want to belong to. Your followers are 2:1 female-to-male. Largely younger girls.
You’re Impacting My Productivity
Let’s face it; you’re a time-sucker. I’ve spent way too much time doing nothing more than scrolling mindlessly, looking for the path to your heart. Before I know it, another day down the drain!
So, thanks for the memories, Tik.
I’m declaring myself officially done.
Tires of the same old brand blah?
The Brand Dame is a weekly newsletter by an award-winning media pro who builds buzz-generating, customer-attracting, revenue-boosting strategic brands for businesses that mean business.